One of my favorite leadership workshops to present is “Leader As Coach”. So many managers believe that coaching is a critical skill for strong leadership, yet sometimes feel they avoid it due to time constraints or their lack of experience. They can list a ton of excuses of why they won’t or can’t coach:
“Why should I coach when people just leave?”
“I really can’t add another task to my already insanely busy job.”
“Coaching is not a one shot deal and who can keep up with the follow-through?”
“No one is coaching me now. So why should I?”
Usually we begin the day by sharing the behaviors and attributes of great coaches and how they impacted the professional and personal lives of the participants. It’s always fascinating to hear how important coaching helps leaders reach their potential and even go beyond what they thought they could achieve. When people believe in our abilities to succeed, we can often reach farther than we ever imagined.
WAIT! Is that true? Through coaching we can grow and accomplish outcomes far greater than we ourselves thought?
A resounding YES!
[Tweet “Coaching can develop others beyond their imagined abilities.”]
If that’s the truth, then shouldn’t we embrace the idea of a culture of coaching?
Here are five tips to get our coaching skills to the next level:
1. ACKNOWLEDGE THE VALUE IN COACHING
Before we can empower ourselves to become a great coach, we need to see coaching as a critical piece of our jobs. Ask yourself:
- How can coaching others develop future leaders?
- How will coaching improve performance?
- How will I grow as a leader in adding coaching to my leadership toolbox?
- Who will benefit most from my new commitment to coaching?
2. UNDERSTAND OUR PREFERRED COACHING STYLE AND OUR COACHEE’S PREFERRED STYLE
Each of us has a unique and natural way of interacting with others. That’s our preferred style. Gaining an understanding of how we process information and how our coachee’s process information can create a meaningful rapport. Once we cultivate that connection, we are more likely to have a successful coaching interaction. A great way to figure out our preferred coaching style is using an assessment. Not only will it give us insights into how we behave and act, but it is can be fun to learn about.
3. PREPARE FOR OUR COACHING OPPORTUNITIES
Coaching is not counseling. While we might counsel our team members regarding a personal problem, we coach them when it comes to a job or career related challenge. And that doesn’t necessarily mean poor job performance, but maybe a growth opportunity in their current roles.
[Tweet “Leaders coach teams to help them grow in their jobs.”]
Preparing for a coaching session or meeting is important to being successful. Know what questions you may want to ask and be ready for the possible responses. Also, make sure the coachee is aware that it is a coaching session to learn and grow, rather than a counseling discussion.
4. LEARN HOW TO GIVE HONEST FEEDBACK
Feedback is useless if it isn’t honest and respectful.
- Be specific so others can relate personally to what is being shared
- Be descriptive with the goal of clarity
- Use respectful language without judging
- Don’t forget to include some positive observations
5. STAY OPEN
Great coaches are able to keep an open mind and heart, even if they go into the coaching session with specific objectives. We are all human and we all make mistakes which means coaches must never berate or belittle others. Information may emerge that we may not have been aware of and if we can keep an open way of thinking we will hear what is being shared. Remaining open to different perspectives will elevate our coaching and keep the dialogue moving.
What additional tips for coaching have worked for you?
If you or your team are interested in learning how to build a culture of coaching, contact me.
First of all…. nobody’s coaching me so why should I? Ouch.
One thing I learned as a coach who has worked within organizations as a leader and in my own coaching practice is to let the other person set the agenda. Yes, we may have corrective feedback to offer as a supervisor but that’s not at the heart of coaching. The heart of coaching is to uncover what the person most needs and get really curious about how they can continue to grow and change in that area. Instead of guessing… ask them.
Will share! Thanks, Terri!
Great point Alli that coachees need to be able to set the course of the coaching session. When managers work with their direct reports, having a complete picture of where they want to focus is important, but equally important is the coachee’s input. Listening to how the coachee sees the challenges they face is critical to their successful growth. Additionally, when a coachee figures out how they want to proceed to meet their targets, they are more likely to hold themselves accountable.
Thanks Alli for elevating our discussions! I appreciate your additions!
Terri, excellent reminders for leaders on coaching. You always provide such amazing value! Thank you for your ongoing inspiration!!!
Thanks so much for your amazing support Cynthia!
The “nobody’s coaching me so why should I” issue is so real, and that’s exactly what can create a downward spiral in an organization’s culture. Developing others is a leaders most important job, no matter where they sit in the organization. What most folks discover when they invest in coaching is that the rewards go both ways! Everyone wins.
You hit it on the head, Karin- when managers begin to coach others they realize how they grow too! At first some of the managers who felt they were never coached wondered why they should add this to their toolbox. Once they embraced coaching, they changed their perspective.
When leaders invest in developing others through coaching, an entire organization grows too.
Thanks Karin for adding to the dialogue!