Sitting and having dinner with friends this week, we started talking about all the challenges we are each facing with our families and professional lives. One of my friends blurted out:
“I know that I should be taking action.”
“I know I am feeling stuck and out of sorts.”
“I know I need to change things up right now.”
“I know I need to focus on me rather than on everyone else.”
Then in my Coaching workshop this week a similar conversation ensued with the managers:
“I know some of my team is very unmotivated.”
“I know people feel they are not feeling challenged.”
“ I know my team members have amazing talents.”
I am sure you could add your own “I know” statements that may be swirling around in your head. When we want to lead, we need to move from an “I know” position to “I will act” stance. We stop spending our time finding new things to dream about and instead explore ways to be proactive.
[Tweet “Leaders move from”I know what to do” to “Here’s what to do”.”]
Here are some strategies that just might jump-start your leadership action:
WRITE DOWN YOUR “I SHOULDS”
The first step towards making things happen is releasing the “I should” ideas from your brain and putting them down in writing. It will feel like a relief and give the storage in your mind a rest. It also validates what you sense is at the heart of some of the challenges you may be facing. While getting these “I should’s” out, don’t judge, don’t evaluate just let them go.
CHOOSE A FEW TO REWORK
Next step is to choose the most urgent ones and think about them more deeply. Decide:
- What are the real issues?
- Who is involved and who needs to be involved?
- How can I best resolve this unworkable pattern?
- Do I need to bounce this idea off of anyone else for more perspective and before taking action?
SET UP STEPS TO ACT
The third step is putting together a realistic but ambitious strategy to tackle the “I should” choices. We might be inclined to just “wing it” at this stage but doing that will not clearly map out a successful plan. My friend decided to take a course on ways to open her mind to new possibilities. The managers are setting up one-on-one coaching sessions to better understand what motivates each of their team members. Whatever your proposal, list the actions you will take to move yourself forward.
BUILD CONNECTIONS WHILE “DOING”
The final step in this transformation is to cultivate new relationships with other leaders to form a deeper network. The managers in my workshop depend on their teams to turn out innovative deliverables and knowing more about each person’s strengths and talents can often enhance the outcomes. When my friend participates in a course and forms a new network of like- minded people, she will grow with their wisdom and guidance.
[Tweet “Leaders build connections by learning about people’s strengths and talents.”]
How do you lead by changing your “I should” ideas to “Here’s what I do” actions?
Great post, Terri!
So many of our leaders are burned out with all the “I should’s” that they have no energy left for finding constructive answers to the problems that confront them every day.
You make an excellent point: if leaders are burned out at work, they are also liable to be burned out at home, too!
What we need is a book that focuses on how to energize and uplift leaders instead of ones that simply load them down with more theory….
Sounds like a great book LaRae!
There are so many similarities on how we handle risk-taking and being proactive in both our personal and professional lives. We sometimes get stuck on the dreaming piece and have a challenging time making our first move to action. I see this with leaders in all different type of positions. A little nudge from a colleague can be just what is needed.
Thanks LaRae!
Very timely, Terri. Lately, I have been saying “I should say no more often.” It isn’t about being negative but about being focused on doing things that matter most. This is about stepping up in the right areas and about developing the right relationships to make everything work better in purpose.
Moving to “I should” to “I do” is vital. Great reminders! Thank you. Jon
Saying no is sometimes the most proactive stance for a leader as it not only keeps us on track with our goals but empowers us to discover the right steps and procedures.
Being stuck in the “I shoulds” just loosens our hold on leading in a meaningful way. It can even cause us to keep spinning and never land where we can make a real difference.
Thanks Jon for sharing your understanding of the most important “no”!
Absolutely fantastic post, Terri!
I’ve found that even when people are the most stuck in their “I knows” and “I shoulds” they’re also equally attached to their excuses. People know what to do and their intuition often shouts that it’s time for a change yet they continue to stand still. (I should write “we” because it happens to all of us)
I love that you encourage people to take a beat to identify the real issues standing between knowing and action. Often, it’s something underneath… deeper than the superficial where most people focus.
Action is the surest way to create change! (much more powerful than just thinking about it)
Again, great post, Terri! This will definitely help many people.
Great point, Alli about being caught up in our excuses. When I spoke with the managers in my program they too offered a litany of reasons why their team wasn’t collaborating as well and why individual members weren’t feeling accountable. Eventually they helped each other come up with ways to coach their teams to be more motivated.
I think your new e-course in getting Unstuck will be so helpful in propelling people forward to take action and stop making excuses.
Thanks for your insights and sharing! I so appreciate you, Alli!
Great post. I so believe that leadership is helping others to move from knowing to doing. Really tough to lead well if you’re getting stuck yourself. So important to translate ideas to action.
Love your point Karin that leaders do need to spark action and help their teams get unstuck. When they can rally the troops into action, leaders see great outcomes.
Thanks!