With Halloween upon us, what better time than now to expose how hiding behind a frightening mask can impact our leadership. Working with leaders at many different levels, I have seen the craziest and most debilitating leadership masks. One healthcare leader had the scariest looking eyes mask and seemed to stare at everyone he met. Another young leader hid behind her mask of “never asking questions” until she fell flat on her face.
Masks have become a “norm” for some leaders as they muddle their way through their jobs and careers. We might think that a mask can protect our imperfections and blind spots but honestly by tackling the challenging pieces of our leadership strategy we will become more authentic leaders. We owe it to ourselves and to all the people we work with to get out from behind our masks.
[Tweet “When leaders hide behind their masks they can’t be authentic.”]
Here are four scary leadership masks and how to remove them:
1. COMMUNICATES BY SHOUTING
Some leaders speak in louder voices than others but there is a big difference in an elevated volume level and a bully. A mask of shouting sends the message that we feel our voices are more important than the words of our team members or colleagues. When we raise the volume to a level that we sound like we are yelling, we will never be heard. In fact we will probably be muted.
Remove this mask by: Recognizing the volume of your voice and commit to taking it down a notch. Be aware of people not listening to you and instead share your message in a calmer, more moderate tone and volume. Remember yelling reminds adults of their parents or teachers reprimanding them. Big turn-off.
2. JUDGMENTAL THINKING
When leaders make assumptions about what others say and do before understanding the entire situation, they may jump to the wrong conclusions. In one of my recent workshops a team leader thought someone on their team was being lazy by continuing to hand back a project to them for completion. They eventually found out that the reason the team member did that was that they really had no understanding of a key concept.
Remove this mask by: Asking relevant and empowering questions about why an individual is unable to complete a particular assignment. Don’t rush to judgment or dream up reasons about a person’s actions. Help team members identify both their strengths and areas they need to grow.
[Tweet “When leaders judge others they often jump to the wrong conclusions.”]
3. NEVER ALLOW EMOTIONS OUT
Of course there is a time and place to reveal our emotions, but leaders who are never willing to show their emotions are not revealing their humanity. When we do display humanity we become authentic and build relationships. We need more humanity in the workplace and leaders need to model the way.
Remove this mask by: Sharing a story of mistakes we made along the way that reveals our vulnerability. In one of my programs a leader shared how she was very shy as a child but had a teacher who encouraged her to speak up. Through this incredible mentor she found her inspiring voice.
4. CONTROL FREAK
Do you ever find yourself thinking that no one can complete a project or deal with a customer as well as you? If you answered yes, then perhaps you are a bit of a control freak. Leaders fall behind this mask frequently and the result is that they are constantly left finishing everything themselves. By hiding behind this mask we can’t develop future leaders.
Remove this mask by: Delegating and sharing the workload. Get out of mindset that it’s “Your way or the highway”. Take time to coach and mentor others to grow. Projects can be completed in several different ways and maybe someone even has a better approach.
What other types of scary leadership masks have you noticed?
Love how you helped us see some of the different masks we may be wearing at times and the way out. I worked with a leader who wore a mask of negativity. His belief was that he was not there to be friends with the team. He was tough and negative and thought that was his job. In truth, leadership happens through relationships and until he took off the mask of “leader not friend” he was going to struggle. Unfortunately, this story doesn’t have a happy ending.
Will share for sure!
Best,
Alli
Negativity is so contagious and leaders who bring that attitude into their professional lives will never be able to be successful. Masks can often transform a decent and caring leader into an angry ruler. We need to take off our masks and face our fears and blind spots in order to be authentic.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful story with us Alli! Sad to hear about the outcome.
Excellent article Terri! GREAT reminders for ALL leaders. I wish you an awesome day today!
Thanks so much Cynthia! Happy Halloween!
Thanks for the helpful tips on how to unmask our leadership! I agree that telling our own stories and encouraging others to excavate the significance of their experiences is an effective way of tapping into our inner wisdom. Plus, it allows people to see one another as real, authentic leaders…
Sharing our real trials and challenges through storytelling can be a powerful way for leaders to show others they are human and authentic. Through those stories we cultivate deeper connections with others in the process of growing our own leadership.
Thanks LaRae!
Hi Terri,
Terrific article on the types of masks leaders are wearing and tips for taking the various masks off. A few years ago, I worked for a senior executive who wore a mask that lacked ears. As a result, he could not devote his full attention and listen carefully. And this created relational energy emanating from him that decreased motivation at work and engagement in work activities.
Until he added ears, he was going to remain an “empty suit leader,” unable to support his team members and act in the best interest of the organization. Last week I learned that his failure to remove the earless mask finally caught up with him. He has been significantly demoted. The lesson here – ensure the leader’s mask has ears that are open to listening carefully.
Will share.
A great addition to a leadership mask Terri! I too have seen leaders unable to actively listen and I am not surprised by the leader’s failure and being demoted. Purely being strong in one’s technical skills will never help a leader grow into bigger roles. When we can communicate compassionately and with great interest in others, we can cultivate strong leadership capabilities.
I appreciate your excellent insights Terri and sharing your great story with us!
Terri,
Terrific post. I was working with a group of leaders who were so addicted to being “in control” they were losing control. It was all about the control free mask. Losing that mask is good for the organization, good for results and good for the soul.
Being a control freak can derail a relationship between a leader and a team member easily. What may be helpful in removing that mask is recognizing that others can do things and complete assignments as well as we can using their own style. We can get caught up in just continuing the status quo or opening our eyes to a new perspective. Then the mask will come off.
Thanks Karin for being part of this dialogue!
Terri – #1 took me back! I worked with someone that was very tall and stocky, had a deep voice and Rodney Dangerfield eyes.
He would stand up, move closer to whoever he disagreed with and leverage his size expressive eyes and voice to literally “talk down” to and intimidate others.
The sad part was that outside of the office he was very kind. Inside of the workplace he knew his business – but he wore the mask of a bully to hide his historical pain and insecurity.
It is so fascinating to witness leaders coming across as intimidating when they have no clue about their intense non-verbal cues. We owe it tell others if we care about them and their leadership that we are feeling uncomfortable. Of course we need to share in a respectful way. I wonder if the person you worked with realized how he was appearing.
Thanks Chery for sharing your helpful story with us!