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While coaching and training leaders, I listen very carefully to their stories and challenges. On one hand, leaders feel it is necessary to be understanding of people’s busy lives outside of work as well as issues in the workplace. Yet on the other hand they question how deeply they should get involved. I often hear statements like:

“I’m concerned but that’s just TMI (too much information) for me!”

“I want to help them with that personal issue, but is that really my job?”

“I feel uncomfortable getting too involved in those interpersonal team conflicts. Let them work it out themselves.”

“I need to focus on that project and not on all the chatter around me.”

I’m sure you could add your concerns to this list. So is it really better to stay out of the fray and keep totally focused on the work at hand? How much is too much sympathy and empathy? Or is there such a thing?

I’ve wondered about the right balance for leaders to step up or step aside.

[Tweet “Leaders understand when to step up or step aside.”]

For sure it is a balancing act and here are five decision points you may want to consider:

1. ARE YOU THE RIGHT PERSON TO LEAD THE CHARGE?

Even if you may feel uncomfortable, are you the one to help resolve the mess? One way to think about whether you are “it”, is to decide if you know the person and the concern most completely. Sometimes we are not aware of the entire story and therefore can only talk to one side. But when we are the logical person, don’t worry that you are getting in too deep. Stay professional and sift through to get at the truth.

 2. IS THIS THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENED?

This is important to ask yourself because if an ongoing situation keeps occurring even after you have gotten involved, then something needs to change. Lead the way by talking to someone else on the team who may have a fresh perspective. It’s possible you’re missing an essential piece.

3. DO YOU HAVE THE TOOLS TO RESOLVE THE ISSUE?

Smart leaders know when they have the skill set to help someone through a work or personal crisis. Asking yourself critical questions can help:

  • Is this happening because there is a process issue?
  • Can I coach my teammate to get up to speed and be successful?
  • Can I empower the person to change a behavior or attitude?

[Tweet “Make sure you have all the facts before stepping up.”]

4. ARE YOU COMMITTED TO LEADING?

It’s important to be honest if you care enough to find a workable solution. Sometimes we need to empower ourselves to act even when we may feel a bit out of our league and unsure about the outcome. Don’t abdicate the job to someone else, rather take a chance and put your leadership gifts into play.

5. WHAT LESSONS DO YOU WANT TO SHARE?

Once you have decided to take the lead, then figuring out what you want to say and how you want to say it is paramount.

  • Think of what obstacles you faced in your past that may be similar to what others are experiencing.
  • Choose a meaningful story to share and how you too had imperfect conditions but tried to discover ways to face your fears and grow your leadership in the process.

How do you decide when it is the right time to step up or step aside? What signals help you maintain that balance?

 

 

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