We have all heard about the importance of feedback and how critical it is in shaping our jobs and careers. Yet some leaders are reluctant to either ask for feedback for fear of hearing some advice that will upset them or give feedback that may throw a colleague into a tailspin. Without feedback we will not have the best shot of developing skills that may lead to new opportunities for growth. So why does feedback feel like an evil necessity rather than a gift that could actually help propel us forward?

One of the reasons that leaders have a complicated relationship with feedback is that not all feedback is equal. There is an impactful way of sharing advice as well as a negative dumping of our ideas. Many leaders are never taught how to give and receive feedback and as a result can feel uncomfortable in both situations. Can leaders develop the skills to give and receive feedback? Absolutely!

Here are six winning feedback strategies that will be a true gift:

1. Prepare with Intention

Before we can offer feedback in a meaningful way, we need to become very familiar with the issues to be discussed. That means spending time to obtain a clear understanding of what isn’t working as well as it could be. Oftentimes when a feedback session goes awry it is due to a lack of preparation by the leader. Getting a solid message together will be easier to share and result is less confusion.

2. Create Rapport

For feedback to be heard, there needs to be a high level of trust between the two people. Building rapport is the foundation of any professional relationship. Once leaders gain the trust and respect of team members, colleagues and bosses they will be on the road to successful connections. So how do we create rapport?

• Get to know the person by asking them questions about their interests or passions.
• Sit beside them rather than across from them.
• Use a calm tone and stay positive.
• Share a story about yourself and your journey.

3. Explain The Gift of Feedback

Express at the outset how we each need feedback to grow in our careers. Maybe share how feedback empowered you to be a stronger leader. Additionally, I find that explaining the process of how the feedback interaction will happen is very helpful. Establish the importance of a two-way conversation. And then make sure you don’t interrupt and actively listen.

4. Choose Words That Are Clear and Specific

Let’s face it that feedback can only be helpful if we share our message with clarity and respect. Whenever anyone shares information with me I am most appreciative when it is specific so I know what I can focus on to be even stronger. Instead of listing out areas that someone needs to improve or change try:

• Giving descriptive examples of what may have gone off target.
• Asking if they had a redo, what they might do differently.
• Not to go on and on about every little misstep-focus on just a couple of areas.
• Partnering on specific actions to take moving forward.

5. Stay Openminded and Curious

Whenever we are offering advice, we need to stay openminded in the event we don’t have all the facts. We need to give people an opportunity to share their perspectives and be open to pivoting in a direction we hadn’t thought of. Ask empowering questions to obtain a clearer picture of what may need to change. Be a curious detective.

6. Finish With Mutual Steps Forward

At the conclusion of presenting feedback to a team member, decide on a mutual plan of action. This step in your feedback strategy will cement the future direction without confusion. Just remember to get buy-in or the plan will fail. I find what works best is brainstorming:

• Specific actions to take.
• Timeframes for each step.
• Acceptable check-back sessions.
• Best methods to connect if priorities change.

What winning feedback strategies have been helpful to growing your leadership?