I recently shared with one of my daughters a critical realization about my career. I had learned the bulk of my skills and knowledge from a woman I worked for many years ago. She was an extraordinary boss and more importantly, a talented mentor. I had accepted a position that I had a minimal amount of experience. I was confident that I could master the necessary skills I was lacking, but I had no idea how that would happen. Many of you may be thinking that I had “imposter syndrome” but honestly I was a newbie with very little exposure to a field I knew I belonged.
Has this ever happened to you in your career? Have you ever found yourself accepting a position that you were basically qualified for but unsure how you would be able to learn the skills in a quick enough way? If you answered “yes”, then you are like most leaders who are willing to take a chance and step outside of your comfort zone. Our success however, may depend on the people we meet in our “leap into the unknown”.
Five ways mentors are the key to our leadership success:
1. MENTORS SEE BEYOND OUR IMPERFECTIONS
You made it through the interview, received your acceptance letter and now are ready for your new job. You made it to the finish line but how exactly are you going to hide the fact that you have a tremendous amount to learn? A great way to begin is to find yourself a mentor who is willing to recognize that although you may not have all of the background for the job, you are able to transfer your past experiences and lessons into your new position. Find that person who you feel comfortable speaking with and is also willing to share their insights and suggestions. My new boss in that early job was that mentor for me. She believed in my capabilities and encouraged me to meet with all the managers to learn about their challenges. It was a powerful way to begin to get an understanding of the organization.
2. MENTORS HAVE OUR BEST INTERESTS IN MIND
A good mentor is never in competition with us but helps us grow in the best direction. They spend time getting to know our interests and strengths and empower us to follow our choices. It’s not about them. It’s about helping the mentee find their North Star and soar.
[Tweet “Good mentors put their mentee’s best interests front and center.”]
3. MENTORS OFFER SAGE ADVICE
The best mentors in our lives are willing to share helpful and actionable information with us.
- They speak in language that is clear and direct
- They lay out their suggestions in a respectful way
- They ask us for our input and thoughts
- They share their mistakes and missteps through powerful storytelling
4. MENTORS CHALLENGE US
My early mentor set me free and encouraged me to design my own programs without her help. She had confidence in me to draw on my past experiences but always said she was available for any type of question or concern. Rather than modeling all my work after her successes, she pushed me to be innovative and take risks. To be effective, mentors need to push their mentees out of the nest to fly.
[Tweet “Effective mentors challenge their mentees to take risks.”]
5. MENTEES PAY IT FORWARD
Once we have been mentored, it is a leader’s responsibility to pay it forward by volunteering to mentor others. Most probably, the strongest mentors in our careers had been mentored themselves. So find a mentee who is looking to grow from your rich experiences and lessons. Make time to mentor. Continue to find new mentors as you move along each step of the way.
I never did reconnect with my mentor. I tried looking for her but never seemed to find her. But she really helped me find my gifts and my voice. She empowered me to dream and propel my career into motion. I will always be grateful to her.
How have mentors helped you develop your leadership?
Terri – Great post! I especially love this quote in your post. “To be effective, mentors need to push their mentees out of the nest to fly.”
Although my husband and I are not parents – we find ourselves loving on those we’ve mentored to the point that it feels like parenting. Encouraging them to fly is fun. Allowing them to struggle and being there to help them think through the struggle without rescuing them is harder. -But so necessary for their growth.
I so agree Chery that when we mentor others it can feel so much like parenting. And that is a true sign of a great mentoring partnership! The goal is to empower our mentees to fly on their own with a little guidance or assistance from their mentors. It is such a gratifying feeling to know we have made a difference in helping develop another leader. The struggle is also part of the process because through the challenges leaders grow the most.
Thanks Chery!
Great article about our essential need for good mentors. I instinctively knew that I would need to rely heavily upon agents who were more experienced when I started my FBI career. Like yourself, I had no idea of how to go about investigating sophisticated and complicated cases. I couldn’t wait for someone to officially become my mentor, so I looked at many different people as mentors, whether they knew it or not! The important thing was to identify people who knew their stuff and watch how they did it…
It is so helpful when we can choose the mentors that seem like a perfect fit for us. Of course we need mentors who are competent with the expertise and knowledge we need to grow. Equally important can be finding a mentor with a similar style to ours so we can connect more comfortably. I agree that leaders who can find those magical mentors will flourish in their careers.
Thanks LaRae!
Great post Terri. As you described your mentor, you helped me remember and appreciate the one I had. Not only was he a mentor for 23 years but also a sponsor. He was instrumental in moving me ahead in my career at IBM and then developing me further as I worked for him in smaller company turn-arounds.
I understood the value of having him on my side and thus recognized my responsibility to pay it forward. Mentoring and sponsoring has become a part of my DNA, and I have to say it is a rewarding aspects of leadership.
Thank you so much Terri for sharing your story of mentorship with us! When leaders meet their “perfect fit” mentors along the way they are able to achieve greater results than they ever imagined. The thing with mentors is that they can see strengths and gifts in us that we often cannot see. They are often able to connect the dots in our career journeys that we may be blind to. They also can help us overcome our blind spots in a caring and respectful way.
As always I appreciate your wonderful insights and additions Terri!
Fantastic article Terri! Totally appreciate your wisdom and leadership insights! Having ROCKSTAR Mentors is key to grow personally and professionally!
I know you are an expert, Cynthia when it comes to mentoring! Mentors can make a huge difference in helping us stay accountable and reach for our north star. Thanks so much for your support!
Mentoring has been and remains one of the highlights of my personal and professional life. I’ve found that not only does mentoring grow leaders, but mentoring grows mentors as well. Every mentoring relationship I’ve had has taught me a life-long lesson.
I wonder if you might want to consider dropping the term “mentee,” and instead use the terms “learning partner” or “mentoring partner.” These terms more accurately reflect the quality of the relationship and also more accurately create expectations for outcomes.
I agree that mentoring is beneficial to both the mentor and the person being mentored. It sounds like you have had a wonderful experience in mentoring partnerships and it has had a profound impact on your career.
Thanks so much for your perspectives Rey!