Whether you are part of a large or small team or a solo entrepreneur, working with others on a project or a challenge, can be messy. Each contributor offers their perspective, sharing what they perceive to be helpful suggestions. As each person rattles off his or her brilliant additions, data overload can set in and before you can get a handle of which direction to proceed, the path is set. You look up with a surprised sensation and wonder how the group landed on this mission. This was not where you intended to go, but there you are, selecting a piece of the project to work on.

How did this happen and how did it all get away from us so quickly?

Like you, I have been involved in my fair share of collaborations gone sour. I went into the initial meetings feeling positive and optimistic only to end up feeling disillusioned and burned. In fact, after one collaboration I promised myself never to jump in so quickly without knowing the other individual’s style ahead of time. Of course a person’s style of working might not show for a while.

Here are five ways to grab hold and lead a successful collaboration:

 1. Set The Rules Upfront

Before embarking on any collaboration, it is so helpful to establish some ground rules. For example, discuss how the input will be shared. Decide if everyone will have an opportunity to offer their opinions before narrowing down the direction. It may be wise to choose a facilitator for the discussion. Make sure someone takes notes to share later. Spend time at the beginning to agree how the process will run.

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2. Listen Before Speaking

Although we might want to sound like we have the perfect solution, it is important that we spend time listening to hear each person’s perspective. Don’t even think about offering an idea until you feel you have a clear understanding of what the collaboration is all about. Don’t make assumptions.

3. Ask Relevant and Non-Judgmental Questions

The best way to derail a collaboration is by asking pointed “gotch ya” questions.

• Avoid “Why would you choose this path?” and instead ask, “Could you give me a clearer understanding of how you got to this point?”
• Swap “Didn’t we try this already?” for “How will this look differently from what we tried last year?”
• Ask: “How will we measure the milestones we reach?” and “How will we know we are successful?”

4. Validate Other Opinions

Make sure to be supportive of the contributions offered by telling people how valuable their additions are. Evaluate all the suggestions by turning them upside down and bringing them to a full discussion. When others see their ideas being considered, they are more willing to commit to the outcome. Remember, this is a collaboration not an individual solution.

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5. Offer To Pull Things Together

Step up and be the one to get the project completed. This may mean writing up the final report or volunteering to present the findings. I have seen fantastic collaborations fall by the wayside because no one wants to finalize the plan. Lead the collaboration to its successful conclusion.

How have you led a successful collaboration? What techniques have worked for you?