pic for friendship blog

In an intriguing NY Times Op Ed piece today, David Brooks explained that whatever activities we pursue, we are essentially looking for ways to cultivate friends. Whether we attend a conference, go on a tour or go to a networking event, what we are truly “craving” is finding new people to build meaningful relationships.

Brooks talks about the intrinsic benefits of friendship:

  1. Friendship helps people make better decisions by working together and thinking through the problem with someone else.
  2. Friendship brings out our better self as we tend to pick up the quality attributes of others we spend time with.
  3. Friendship tends to make people behave better as we long to live up to our friend’s expectations of us. It feels good to be known and respected.

Wow! Isn’t that what leadership is all about? Don’t leaders want to build friendships in the same way?

[Tweet “Leaders who value friendship create interconnected teams.”]

Here are some ways to lead with friendship as a number 1 priority:

COLLABORATE WITH PEOPLE TO SOLVE PROBLEMS

Just as Brooks describes the benefits of making better personal decisions when we have a friend to share our feelings and perspectives with, we can do the same with our teams when problem solving. You know the old adage of : 1+1=3? By asking for input and suggestions from our teammates, we may be able to discover innovative solutions we never thought possible. As the participants in my Problem Solving workshop this week witnessed, a different and fresh viewpoint can open us up to a whole different direction. It can breathe life into a stuck project.

UNCOVER A BETTER YOU BY OBSERVING OTHERS

When we surround ourselves with kind and generous people, we tend to take on some of those qualities. Have you ever been part of a fundraiser for a cause that you were initially unfamiliar? Did you get wrapped up and grow from that experience? If we are willing to learn how to open our hearts and minds to making a difference in the lives of others, we will become more empathetic leaders with an eye to serving others.

CULTIVATE A TEAM WHERE EVERYONE FEELS THEY BELONG

Like the characters in the old “Cheers” sitcom, it feels so safe and special to have a place where everybody knows your name. This is the type of workplace we want to design for high quality and interconnectedness. Additionally, team members will want to do their best when they are valued and other teammates recognize their worth. On teams where there is a feeling of belonging there is also a sense of commitment and accountability to the community.

[Tweet “Leaders need to cultivate a sense of belonging for their teams.”]

Brooks believes that one way to encourage friendships is to create adult camps or retreat centers.  In a similar way, teams can plan days away from the office too. At these events, leaders can devise team activities where people can focus on building stronger relationships which would lead to the development of  friendships. One activity that has worked for me is setting up an afternoon of people scavenger hunts where team members learn more about each other. Not only is it fun, but when we get to know another on a more personal level, we begin to build trust.

How can you lead by developing friendships? What could you do to bring more meaning to the relationships we encounter daily?

(photo credit)

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This