Blog pic-machine gun or marshmallow

When I worked for a hospital system, my team was asked to create a customer service training program for all the employees. The workshop was a jumping-off point to help build a culture of caring and respect for the patients, visitors as well as the hospital workers. One section of my presentation focused on different styles of communication and whether people came across aggressively or passively. We made up names for the different styles; machine guns were aggressive communicators while marshmallows were more passive. The objective of the program was developing an awareness to how we communicate with others.

Have you ever thought about how you come across to other people and how others perceive your leadership style?

[Tweet “Leaders who are aware of how they communicate build strong relationships.”]

Are you a machine gun or marshmallow communicator?

Understanding our natural way to connect with others helps us build impactful relationships as well as meaningful interactions. Here are a few ways to help you decide if you are more of a machine gun or a marshmallow:

MACHINE GUNS

  • Rat-a-tat-tat
  • Talk a lot
  • Say what’s on their minds
  • Demand
  • Less concerned how they will affect the feelings of others

MARSHMALLOWS

  • Quiet
  • Absorbers of messages from machine guns
  • Listeners
  • Sometimes dominated
  • Overly concerned about others’ feelings

These are two contrasting and extreme communication styles and most of us fall somewhere in-between. Each style has its assets and liabilities. While machine guns are articulate and take-charge, they also can be too blasting and insensitive. On the other hand, marshmallows are usually sensitive and great listeners but can avoid a situation or be too slow to respond.

What does it look like when you have two machine guns communicating with one another or two marshmallows connecting? A wall is created when this happens and nothing can pass between the different sides. There is a disconnect and an exchange of ideas and information is halted.

[Tweet “Leaders need to be flexible in their communication styles.”]

Four ways to overcome locking communication styles:

  1. Be flexible

    When two machine guns go at it, an impasse may emerge, so it is essential for us to adjust our communication to have a successful outcome. Be aware of being too much of a control freak and try to be more open.

  2. Develop a range in your style

    Learn ways to stretch the way you communicate so in different situations with different people you can be more effective. Maybe you need to listen more. Maybe you need to state your opinion more.

  3. Don’t let your habits take over

    Just because you are use to communicating with co-workers, customers or bosses in a certain way, try to break your routine responses. Ask yourself: Is this the best way to share my thoughts or is it just what I usually do?

  4. Know when your natural style works well and when it doesn’t

    Before speaking with someone be aware of when you’ve had the most successful conversations with that person. How did you come across? Do you need to communicate a little differently in this situation?

 

Where do you fall between being a machine gun or marshmallow communication style? 

What are some ways you have learned to be more flexible in connecting with others?

 

 

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